Happy Father's Day in Heaven Daddy

 

Today was a pretty rough day for me.

It was the first Father's Day without my daddy.  

I didn't get to call him and wish him a Happy Father's Day.  I did that last year. My daughter and I sent him a gift from Amazon. Actually, we sent him 3 of his favorite things; Andes Creme de Menthes(120 pack), The Big Giant Sudoku Book, and an avocado peeler.

I remember trying to order that stuff on Amazon. I didn't know how to do it to ship it to a different address. So I called my son, and I gave him my gift card number and he ordered it for me. When it arrived a week later,  my daughter and I sat on speaker phone while my dad opened his gifts. 

We could hear the excitement in his voice as he opened each gift.  He thanked us and said good bye and that was the last Father's Day we "spent" with my dad. 

I didn't realize how not well he was by that point in his life.  He never used the avocado peeler and he only did a few pages in the Sudoku book.  Only a few of the mints were gone by the time my daughter and I had managed to get to see him in the hospital last September and his hospice at home before he went to Heaven.

My dad was pretty darn amazing.

He had so many hats he wore during his time here on earth.  He ran three gas stations when we were younger; He got his real estate license, He ran the weenie wagon, which was basically a trailer that we loaded up every early Saturday morning with cooked hot dogs, and soda and candies for all the local kids and spectators at the baseball park. He remodeled our basement into a very cozy bar/rec room area. We spent many Christmases down in that basement as well as graduations, birthdays and whatever occasion was meant to be had for whatever season it was at the time.

He had a  Black '39 Chevy that he took to the local drive in where all the old vintage car owners would hang out on a Friday and Saturday night.  He loved to tinker out in his garage, with his little transistor radio playing oldies on it. I loved the smell of my dad's garage, it smelled like oil and gasoline. He had an old wood burning stove in there, and a Pepsi machine. 

He was always a financial wizard. Great with numbers and saving money. He loved crosswords, Sudoku and during our Christmas visit  of 2018 he did the Wordy Gurdy puzzle in the paper with my daughter a couple of times. He would always yell up the stairs from the kitchen, "Kalaya, what time is it?" and she would answer "It's Wordy Gurdy time!" and come down the stairs.   I remember when we were on the plane coming home, I had asked my daughter "What time is it?" and she said, "it's Wordy Gurdy time" and started to cry.  

Then I started to cry. 

My dad was a comedian, a jokester, an all-around fun guy. He liked to watch Columbo and Rizzoli and Isles. He  also loved to watch Guy Fieri on tv.  He loved watching 60 minutes back in the day and loved Andy Rooney's 5 minute blurb at the end of each segment.

He was a fan of Elvis, Chuck Berry, Little Richard  and others while also enjoying the occasional song from  Blondie on the 8-track tape in the '78 Cougar which was a gift for my mom one year.

I remember one time he drove me to work when I was 18, and he looked at me and said, "You look really pretty Barb," and I said "thanks dad!"  I can still see the smile on his face.  

I can still feel the smile on mine.

I know he is in a better place now, but that doesn't help this hole in my heart heal any faster. 

In honor of my dad this evening, I played Chuck Berry's Johnny B. Goode and Elvis Presley's "How Great Thou Art" while I ate an apple pie and half an avocado as I cried so hard. I didn't think I would cry eating his favorite breakfast, but I did as soon as I opened that apple pie. My dad always had an avocado(whole one) and an apple pie for breakfast(which for him was around 2 p.m. or 3 some days). I remember before I left, my son and daughter went out to a fest in town and it was just me, my mom and my dad in the family room.

Dad said something I thought he said cherry and my mom said, I think he wants Chuck Berry. So I played a video of Chuck Berry on my phone and he smiled and was kind of jamming to Chuck and he raised his eyebrow and I said, "He's pretty good huh daddy?" And he said "Yeah, he is". 

That was our last conversation ever. OUR one moment. The only moment that I will forever remember, besides my great hair day on my way to work with dad. I wanted more moments, but it wasn't meant to be.

But I treasure the moments I did have at Christmas, and the summers in the weenie wagon, and hanging out in my dad's garage watching him tinker away, cigarette hanging out the side of his mouth. That was my daddy and I loved him so much. We may not have always agreed, but I still loved him nonetheless. And I know he loved me back, because he told me so in the hospital as I left one night.

My daddy is now in Heaven with our Heavenly Daddy and I know he is happy to be there. God has wiped his tears and suffering away. 

My dad was loved by SO...MANY...PEOPLE!

I know that if I had written his obituary, this is what it would of said: 

"This wonderful man that we knew and loved, as he was surrounded by those who loved him, went home to be with our Lord Jesus. 

He wore a coat of many colors this amazing man; he was a loving husband, father, papa, great-papa, brother and uncle and friend to many; He was skilled at so many things throughout his life; He was a gas-station manager, a weenie wagon connoisseur, a comedian, a mixer of midouris and other fine drinks, a philosopher, a dreamer, a mechanic, a gardener/landscaper who took pride in his finely manicured lawn and home. 

He enjoyed dabbling in crosswords and that lively puzzle called Sudoku. He took pride in finishing the Wordy Gurdy before family members could yell the answers first.

He was brave enough to take on the neighborhood squirrel in his attic, however, the squirrel had won the Attic battle of the 80's. 

He loved to play Scrabble, Mille Bornes and we believe he may have cheated at Monopoly which is how he most likely ended up with Boardwalk and Park Place on several occasions although we have no proof of the truth to this tale . 

Perhaps he was just a really lucky guy when it came to Monopoly.

Fred was a child of God who loved God and called out to him until his very last breath.

He gave his all until all he had was given to the lord.

He will be missed greatly by all who loved him.

Dance with Jesus you are home!

We will always love you and never ever forget you Daddy."

I'll see you in Heaven daddy, save me a good spot okay?

Open the Door

"Here I am! I stand at the door and knock. If anyone hears my voice and opens the door, I will come in and eat with that person, and they with me."

-Revelation 3:20

It's almost 1 a.m.

Sunday Morning. 

I had a headache, it's gone now, however I am wide awake.

I napped a bit yesterday afternoon. I thought I was coming down with some kind of flu or something yesterday. I think it was the allergy meds I started taking.  I didn't take the dose for yesterday. 

I don't think I will take any more doses of that medication. 

 

When I woke up from my nap, I heard Charles Stanley talking. I love his sermons. They are always so uplifting and I always learn something new or feel like the Lord is talking to me when I listen to him speak.

Of all the topics in the world as I laid on my couch under my blanket,  head still throbbing  he says something about  God healing us first.  

Then he went on to say something to the effect of,  "God doesn't always heal us. Look at Paul, he had some sort of illness and prayed several times for God to heal him and He didn't...."

"Um, excuse me but what was that? Umm....", I was thinking , as I lay on my couch, eyes closed trying to absorb all the words and scripture he is sharing in this message.  Then I started to think, "Is this God telling me that I may not get rid of this headache today? Or tomorrow? Or my FIRST DAY BACK TO WORK AFTER A WEEK LONG VACATION?!"

This was not good for me at all. I felt like my head was hurting worse now that he had said that.  Do you know why it hurt more? 

 

Because I started to worry. I started thinking that I really will have this headache for a while. Or it's covid or it's some stupid flu. Try holding thoughts captive when you don't feel well, it isn't easy. But eventually, spiritual godly sanity kicked in and  I just kept telling God that I know he (literally) has my head in His hands. 

I prayed I would find the somewhat newly purchased bottle of Ibuprofen that I had in this place I call home. Somewhere that bottle was just smirking and laughing and giggling playing hide and seek on me. I found it and did thank God for helping me do that. 

I was even more grateful when my daughter asked me  if on her way to work, we could hit the drive thru at Starbucks. I had a gift card, she had her card it was a win win situation. Whether it was the coffee, the Ibuprofen and the hand of God I was still singing praises when that stupid headache finally left my body. I was so excited to get back home and begin my Bible and writing studies.

I have started taking an online writing class. I am enjoying this class very much.  It's a lot of reading of scripture and a lot of writing and meditating on God's word. I cried tonight. I won't say why, but I cried so hard. I am surprised I don't look like a raisin at this point. I cried at small group, I cried with the Lord, I don't think I have many tears left to cry anymore.

I wish fat cells went away with every tear we cried, I would be the thinnest girl on the planet.

Anyway,  getting back to my point here,  the tears flowed but so did the story ideas. I even had an idea for a children's book! That came totally out of left field(obviously from the Lord), completely unexpected. But I hurriedly scribbled it down in one of the sections of the workbook I printed out. We'll talk about the printer another day. That is a blog of it's own. 

Moving on here, I want to ask you all a question(all 3 of you that read my blog ha ha ha...I am laughing out loud here at 1:30 a.m.). My question is, Why don't some people who are Christian not read their Bible? Why won't a non-believer even try and read the bible? Even if they thought it was fiction. Why is it that people think you just need to be a good person who is nice to people and donates to charity or, gives money to the church, that they will go to Heaven? 

Those are all great things, but why don't they know

you NEED a relationship with Jesus to get to Heaven? Why don't they want to read for themselves the amazing stories of David and Moses and Noah and Ruth and Esther and Paul's journeys and the Gospels of Matthew Mark Luke and John? Why don't they want to read the actual stories of Jesus and his miracles and of His disciples? Why don't they want to read it and LIVE it and FEEL God in those stories and not just hear it second hand or not at all??

Jesus is knocking on their door. 

Nobody wants to let Him in these days.

See that picture above?

That brown chair is Jesus.

The blue chair, that's the world, the unbeliever, the Christian who refuses to open their bible because they rely only on a pastor or priest to tell them  what to do, I have met quite a few people who are Christian but have told me they don't need to read their bibles because their pastor reads it for them. 

They turned their back on  Jesus.   My dear sweet friend reading this, 

You need to read your Bible. 

You do.

You cannot live without Jesus, and I promise you that you surely don't want to die without Jesus.

You also cannot solely rely on man to tell you how to have a relationship with Jesus.  You need to listen to God  through His Word and let HIM show you how to have a relationship with Jesus. 

Look at our world today.

It's chaos, and fear and immorality, selfishness and bitterness.

"People will be lovers of themselves, lovers of money, boastful, proud, abusive, disobedient to parents, ungrateful, unholy, without love, unforgiving, slanderous, without self-control,  brutal, not lovers of the good,  treacherous, rash, conceited,  lovers of pleasure, rather than lovers of God..." - 2 Timothy 3:-4

"Woe to them that call evil good and good evil; that put darkness for light and light for darkness; that put bitter for sweet and sweet for bitter!" Isaiah 5:20

We need to pray friends.

We need to pray over our children, we need to pray over our families, we need to pray over our country and the world. satan is on the prowl wanting to kill to steal and to destroy all that God loves and all He created.  satan will not win the war. He may get a couple of battles here and there, but read Revelation ALL THE WAY THROUGH! 

GOD WINS THE WAR PEOPLE!

But until Jesus comes back, we need to be on our knees in prayer and in sitting in and absorbing and meditating on God's Word.

 

I met a woman the other day while I was sitting at the doctor's office. She noticed a book in my bag I was carrying and set on the chair between us. "What are you reading?" She asked me, "The Power of Prayer" I said and I pulled it out of the bag and showed it to her. 

"Oh!"

"What church do you go to?" I asked.

"Oh, I don't do any of those organized religions. I am spiritual. I believe in God. I am not one of those born again Jesus people, I was raised Catholic though but I'm not anymore.  Where do you go?" 

I grinned a little, thinking "I'm one of those born-again Jesus people" (I wear that "label" with pride by the way😉). I told her where I attend, showed her a summer pamphlet from our church and all the events and then proceeded to tell her how our pastor doesn't tell us how to live, he tells us how the bible tells us how to live. 

"Oh, I don't need to read the Bible."

I said, "Well, sure you do. I read mine as much as I can. And if I am having a bad day, I try to read a Psalm or two, because, well, it calms me. It makes the chaos around me not so chaotic. And I feel God's presence calming me down even if I'm having a bad day or stuck in traffic."

"Well, that's good for you. I'm glad it makes you calm. But I don't need it."

 

Then the nurse called her in for her exam.

She had cancer. 

Maybe she was bitter about the cancer. I don't know her whole story. I just know that God placed her there for a purpose. Maybe it wasn't her I was suppose to minister to, maybe it was someone else who was sitting in that office who heard me talking to her that needed to be ministered to.

I'm not ashamed of Jesus. 

I'll talk about Him any time, any where. 

Ask me anything, if I know it I'll tell you. If I don't, I will be more than happy to get back to you after I find the scripture or ask someone who knows the answer. Or I will direct you to my pastor, or a deacon or someone who has more answers than I do. 

No Christian is perfect, and no Christian has all the answers. 

And we never will until we get to Heaven. 

All of us sins, including me. All I know is, we all need Jesus, including me.  

So, in the meantime, I am fine ministering to people by whatever means possible so they will let Jesus into their lives removing whatever, fence, wall or door is keeping them away from Him if it's in His will and for His Glory.