"Reservation for Barb, Party of One"

 

Look at the moon. 

In this photo I took it looks so small and insignificant. 

It looks so alone.

I pretty much feel like the moon looks at this moment in my life. Lots of changes have happened over this past year, and it has hit me with the force of a snowball in my face.

I assure you this blog has a happy ending, but I wouldn't be me if I didn't share my perfectly honest, perfectly raw feelings in a blog of some sort.
I want to purge out all the yuck in my head so the new year can start with a clean, positive happy slate. 

I came to somewhat of a self-realization in the moment  this morning after a good cleansing cry and after a failed attempt at a nap, that although I have a lot of friends, I am still alone. 
It's New Year's Eve. And out of all the people I know, I have no plans tonight. 

I was crying over my boy though, and not my lack of plans. There are other New Year's Eves but only one oldest son that I can't have back again. So, being alone on a very wintry, overcast, windy day (no snow I might add) , missing your lost child, and having nobody to hang with, well...not the best mixture for a girl in this season. 

At least not in the moment anyway.

Truth is, I wouldn't dare go out on New Year's Eve anyway, worst night other than July 4th to hit the roads, know what I mean? Driving on a non-holiday is crazy around here, let alone the one night people drink like fish and drive all insane. 

No thank you.

I'll pass.

I also realized that my kids don't need me anymore, and I have been replaced by important jobs, friends and internet games and Youtube. Twice my daughter has made plans on nights we were suppose to do things and then she canceled our plans. And I texted my son the other night and said, "Hey, if you want to call me later, I will be here."

My phone never rang.

This is not a "Poor me" blog or guilt blog  by any means towards anyone. Let me make that clear. My kids are growing up and my friends have family and other friends,  I am just saying that I realize that I have hit a new season of my life:

Empty Nester. 😒

And this new season in my life has so many challenges I wasn't ready to face. Of all the years for this season to hit, it had to be this year. Why couldn't it have been five years from now? Or ten?

It's happening now people, and it's taking my stupid head on a really crazy ride. 

I don't like it, not one bit.

Yet, I know I am not alone in feeling this way. There are others like me out there I know, I just wish we could find one another and get each other through this really, really depressing season of life. 

When my sadness was dwindling and the tears were drying up and I kept asking Jesus to keep me sane and help me snap out of this, a few thoughts entered into my mind(This, my dear reader is what the Lord put on my mind as I wrote this):

-Maybe they(friends) aren't venturing out on the roads either.

-Maybe they want some peace and quiet on New Year's eve, after the hustle and bustle of Christmas, especially my couples friends who have husbands or significant others in their lives. 

-Maybe they have things they are going through too. I do know a few friends have personal things going on when I called them last. I know I'm not the only one having a hard season.

-Maybe, their priorities have changed in life, and getting together on New Year's Eve isn't even a thing for them. 

-Maybe they are spending it with their children. MAYBE, just MAYBE it's not about me, and all about them and their needs and their families. 

And that my dear reader is perfectly okay because that is how it should be.

Let's go back to that moon up there, that looks so small and alone, however, if you grabbed a telescope and looked at it at night, it is surrounded by stars and planets and comets and meteors and all kinds of bright, cool spacey stuff. It moves the tides of the oceans, and it would have to be pretty darn strong to do that. 

It's not alone, nor is it insignificant.

Neither am I.

I may be alone physically, and my world may be dark sometimes but truth is God is with me. He never leaves me. He is always there. I called out to Jesus while lying in my bed, and in a matter of 20 minutes or so my tears dried up, my sadness fled and all those unnecessary thoughts in my head flew away. I tossed the covers off me, sat up in bed and said to myself, "This is not what I want to do right now."

Like that moon up there I AM surrounded by good friends and some family that I know I can call on if I really, really needed them. New Year's Eve is NOT a need, yet in the moment, it felt like one, because of where my mind wandered off to being alone in the moment. I wouldn't go out on New Year's Eve, I really wouldn't, but it's just the fact that I wasn't invited anywhere on New Year's Eve that got into my head and already broken heart and spiraled all over the place with sadness and feelings of loneliness. 

I am so glad there is a new year on the horizon.

I am so done with this year.

I have so many things I want to accomplish.

There is good in my life.

For starters, I woke up this morning.

Also, God blessed me with a job that allows me the opportunity to afford taking these writing classes and making the tiny payments each month. 

Also, I am looking forward to healthier eating(not a resolution by any means just a personal decision, because I do not like being out of breath or fighting to get off the floor at work when I'm done teaching the kids). 

I'm gonna be okay.

I really am.

I already feel 90% better here, and will feel even better when I am back home with my groceries. 

I have a grocery pick up and then a trip to the Walgreens and then I am going to work on my class workbook some more.

I did the same type of blog last year this time, purging all the "crap" out of my head and life. You can read it here if you want to, and I really hope I don't have to write another one of these next year. I can't write any more about my son this year either,  I will honor him next year when his anniversary comes. I just can't do it now. I read old Facebook conversations between he and I last night, and it tore me up. 

Please God I have faith you will bless me with goodness next year.

Things are going to be good, 

Things are going to be great!

Because you are great Lord!

Happy New Year everyone.

My Life Is A Comedy Show and I Wouldn't Have It Any Other Way

Isn't this the prettiest picture?

Well, maybe not the prettiest of all time of all the photos in the land, BUT,  it is the prettiest I have taken today. 

Ha!

I'm having a good day. 

I started out having a lazy day, but then I had to go and live life a little bit.

Do stuff.

I'm not a fan of doing stuff this week.

I'd much rather hang out here with my daughter and watch TV, bake and play games.

But sometimes we have to do stuff, and I am just grateful I had stuff to do and money and gift cards to do it with.

For starters, I had to mail gifts. I could have bought a sleigh and 8 reindeer for the amount of money I handed over to that kid behind the UPS counter top. I'm not complaining, really I am not, I don't care how much it costs to mail things to my kids. But holy cow, that was a good chunk of change I plunked down there.

Now don't get me wrong here, I would pay the price of ten sleighs and 80 reindeer to mail gifts to those I love(does math in head to make sure that is the right sleigh to reindeer ratio of my previous statement about sleighs and reindeer above🤔), especially my children and their significant others. ❤ Seriously, I'm not complaining by any means, I was just in shock at the price. 👀 

Last time I mailed something from there it was about twenty bucks/twenty five maybe and I was 

thinking maybe 70 dollars to send to three different addresses this time.....not even close. They should personally deliver it and open the gifts for them so they don't break a nail or get a paper cut for the price I paid. 

Just sayin'. 🤷

Well, remember yesterday's blog about Target and Dutch Bros? If you haven't read it, feel free to go right here (<<---- Yes, click there) and if you don't want to read the WHOLE blog, at least read the first 5-6 paragraphs before reading anything further here or you won't really have the full effect of what has transpired in my world at Target in the past 24 hours. 

It's been a three-ring circus here let me tell ya. 🤡

I went back to Dutch Bros this morning.

Yes, I am a glutton for punishment. Let's try it again shall we?

So, this time I went to the location by my apartment. I had to pick up my daughter from a friend's house after I mailed those packages and then take her to work, so I figured "Why not? Let's get another Stoplight and hopefully I won't lose it this time.". I should have just put one of those, what do they call those thing-a-ma-jigs a Lo jack something-or-other on it, or just buy one of those phone cord looking things from the 90's that you use to put on your wrist to hold keys(remember those?) and try to rig it to fit a medium drink cup from DB with a few of those twisty ties you get with a loaf of bread and some duct tape. 

So I pick up my daughter, take her to work and just as she is about to get out of the car she proceeds to say, "Oh, by the way, Rachel(her friend, and not her real name by the way) is going to pick me up from work and take me home."

I give her a deer in the headlight look because this, my dear friends, is news to me.

"Um, is she staying the night?" I ask as my voice inches gradually an octave higher as I'm speaking.

"Well, that was kind of the plan," she says with a big old grin upon her face as she exits the car and is holding onto the door..

"Why didn't you text me this when you made these plans?"

"Because it was 3 a.m. when we made these plans and you were sleeping."

"This would have been nice to know ya know. I mean what if I had planned a surprise party for you and it was a party for two?"

"Well, then I guess we'd of made it a party for three! Bye mom! See you after work!" She waves and blows me a kiss as she went into work. 

"Bye!", I said as I drove away with a big old grin on my face too.

I love that kid.

So I drove away and headed to Target. I got the closest spot ever. I was thinking to myself, "Awesome! 3rd spot from the door! It's a good day!"

I grabbed my Stoplight drink from out of my cup holder in my car and stuffed it in my bra so I wouldn't lose it this time. 😄 Not really, but just now I thought I should have done that and yesterday might have ended up a little better than when we got home from Target without my drink. Anyway, I grabbed my drink and grabbed a cart inside and went straight to the storage bins. They were still on sale! I was so happy! And there were even bins today for SEVEN DOLLARS EACH!!! That made me smile. So I grabbed one clear bin with a red lid, and three green bins that lock. I toss them in, and just kind of window-shopped for about twenty minutes in various sections of the store. I got some soda and some paper plates and headed toward the checkout.

I get my gift card ready, and show the cashier my bins. I realized that for one of the green bins I forgot to get the lid. So I told her I will just leave it with her because I am not traveling back to the deep recesses of Target for a stinking lid.  I didn't say that, I just said I didn't want it. 

She didn't seem to thrilled with that decision. 

Oops! My bad! 💁

I roll my purchases out the door and load my stuff into the car. I was so proud of the great deals I got on storage bins. I was so happy I wanted to celebrate with a pita sandwich. So I stopped at this new place in town that I had never been to. I walk in and there are 3 girls behind the counter. I tell the one girl that I had never been there and asked for a menu. She pointed to the counter left of her and said, "The menu is over there and when you are ready order virtually."

Huh?

I walk over to the counter and all of a sudden I hear a man's voice coming from this round circular speaker that is next to the credit card pay pad thingy, "Hello, welcome. I will take your order when you are ready."  I was looking at the menu and the speaker as I placed my order. He asks me if it will be cash or credit I said cash, and he tells me to give my money to the woman behind the counter.

As I look up I see this young man on the screen in an Ipad looking thing on a selfie stick glued to the counter and I said, "Oh, I didn't see you there!" 

He just laughed.

The girl took my money and gave me my change and I waited for my order. Another woman came in shortly after I placed my order and she said the same thing after she placed her order, "OH! I didn't see you there!" Then she looked at me and said, "Weird." I said, "Yeah, I agree."

That was the extent of our friendly banter about the weird experience at this place. The girl with the ponytail that took my money eventually returned with my food and a smile and told me to have a great day.

I got home and began to unload my car. I had put my daughter's ginormous bag that had all her overnight stuff in it, inside the bags I took to carry all the gifts I had shipped. I placed the handles over my left arm, followed by the bags from Target and then my food. I had the three bins and I threw them inside each other and went to get the lids.

Yeah, those lids.

Well, guess what. I had the two green ones.

What color is the Target cart friends? Can anyone tell me? 

RED!

What color dear friends do you think is the lid that I LEFT IN THE CART AT TARGET!!!  

Also RED!

Yep.

Left that stinkin' thing in the cart....at Target!  🙄

Go ahead, you know ya wanna laugh. Let's all laugh together now shall we? I couldn't believe I did that!

AGAIN!

People, what are the odds?

I didn't get as flustered as I did yesterday. I'm just gonna call Target tomorrow and talk to a manager or just go down there with my daughter and her friend and make another field trip out of it. Let's see, what else I can leave in a Target cart?

My purse?

My kid?

My sanity perhaps?

My sense of self-esteem?

The rest of my brain perhaps?

My rent, car payment and all my debt...that would be awesome actually.

I am now waiting on my daughter to get off of work. I forgot I don't have to pick her up. "Rachel" is getting her. I love it when her friend's can bring her home. I offered one kid a pie. I followed through too, as a joke, I got him two apple pies from Walmart. You know those pies that use to be 50 cents and now are 79 cents? 

Yeah, those pies.

I have to do one more load of laundry and start putting things from my closet into these bins. Tomorrow my daughter doesn't know this yet, but we are going to clean out the storage closet on the patio.

Yep!

That's right.

Nobody tell her, it'll be our little secret. Because if she doesn't do it tomorrow, she will have to wake up early Friday and do it before work.

Yucky.

Who wants to do that?

Well, I think I have rambled enough today.

I promised giggles to some friends.

There ya go folks!

Wishing you all a festive, safe, happy New Year's Eve. I'll be sitting here keeping my recliner warm on New Year's Eve. My kid will be at a party after work with her friends. 

It's a sleep over.

I am grateful for that.

I just got an email from the writer's academy I signed up for this coming year. It starts in January and ends in December 2023. This is a serious commitment and one that I intend to follow through on. I can't wait!

I AM STOKED!

Is that still even a saying? It sounds totally 80's. Oh well.

I guess you can take the girl out of the 80's but you can't take the 80's out of the girl, right?

I know that was lame.

Okay, it's time to skedaddle. Oh wow, that really is a word! At least, according to Google spell check it is anyway. Cool!

Have a wonderful New Year!

God bless!

Let's all make 2023 amazing.

Remember if God wants it to be in your life whether it's a person, a job, a child, or a spouse He will give it to you. If He doesn't, or things get sticky or the road gets a little bumpy, hang onto Him and His word. Talk to Jesus, and remember we are never alone.

"I will never leave you nor forsake you."

God says it several times in the Bible so don't sweat the small stuff and the bigger stuff don't sweat that either. 

Have faith.

There is a song by Colton Dixon called "I Will Build a Boat". Listen to the lyrics. When I have doubts God seems to put that song in my head. 

Next year is going to be amazing.

Go live life.

Go live your life for the Lord, and you will, without a doubt have the most amazing year ever. 

Thank You For the Blessings Lord

This photo is a picture of the tiny envelope that holds the key to my morning happiness in a cup....coffee.

This is a gift card from one of my favorite places to go for coffee. This isn't an advertisement for them, but it sure is beginning to look like one, huh?

Dutch Bros is my go to spot when I am having a good day, bad day or any day in between. When my daughter and I want to just be spontaneous and grab a quick drink or I am alone and having a moment...this is literally right down the street from me. 

Today my daughter and I took Buddy the Elf(her gift to me for Christmas because she knows how I love anything Christmas, especially Buddy!) for a little drive in my car for coffee and a trip to Target. We were both so excited to head out for a little while, as we did NOTHING yesterday except laid around all day snacking and watching movies. I did manage to do one load of laundry. 

Yay me!

So when we went to Dutch Bros today the nice young man had a lengthy conversation with us. They are just so friendly there. Turned out my daughter knew the young man from a mutual acquaintance of theirs and after a lot of small banter between the three of us we parted ways with our drinks and a friendly wave from the young gentleman who waited on us.

We head into Target as I took a few sips of my drink that was pretty much still full. It's called a "Stoplight", mighty tasty I might add, and I placed it back in seat portion of the cart.  I managed to pick up three 20-gallon storage bins for 9 bucks a piece for two of them and 8 bucks for the last one. I was so excited I was blessed with a good amount of gift cards to cover everything I needed; expo markers, last minute gifts that i had to ship, storage bins, pizza for dinner and some spinach avocado dip. My daughter picked up some gifts for friends of hers as well and some other personal items. 

We get in line and I begin scratching off that lovely grey strip with the tiny little access code that the Who's in Whoville probably couldn't read if they wanted to. I hand the five gift cards I had in my hand to the cashier and she carefully enters each, one at a time. She wishes us a good day, hands us our receipts and off we go!

As we are finished loading the items we purchased into my car, my daughter opens her door and I said, "You want to take the cart back to the cart return?"(we were parked next to it😄), she said, "No, I think you can handle that!"  

Well apparently I couldn't handle it.

We went to Panda Express and then headed home. As we are removing bags and storage bins from the car I went to grab my drink from my cup holder in the car. 

????

?????

Yep, you guessed it. 

I couldn't handle taking the cart back apparently, because I forgot to grab my drink out of it.

😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 <<<-----That was me and a few choice words when I was walking to my apartment after I realized what I had done(or hadn't done, however you look at this scenario🤔). 

I heard my daughter say in the most cheerful voice, "Hey mom at least it's raining!" She knows how much I love the rain.

But I was so absorbed in the fact that I left my drink in the cart, I didn't even enjoy that moment.

The drink was free. And her drink was free, so why I was so absorbed in the negative instead of enjoying the blessing of H20 falling from the sky and my daughter noticing it, is beyond me.

I am trying so hard to stay positive these days. 

A lot has transpired this year, and I will be happy to see 2022 go out the window and bring in 2023. I will willingly kick 2022 to the side and welcome in 2023 with open arms. 

No kidding.

The past 14 months really have been intense.

The last 4 months, however, have literally consumed me; emotionally, physically and mentally. 

By God's grace and mercy, all the crying, all the sleepless nights, all the anger and sadness and grief and tiredness, God held me in His arms and gave me a swarm of beautiful people from all over to get me through this tiresome season in my life. 

I am blessed.

I am blessed beyond measure.

I am thankful.

So grateful.

I just received a gift card in the mail. 

I won't say from who or where, I will just say I was stunned to see it there. 

And all it said on the card was "A little something to pamper yourself Barb."

Wow!

I had just had a major meltdown in my kitchen two days prior to receiving the gift card.  I couldn't even open my spinach artichoke dip, and I slammed it on the counter so hard that it sprayed all over my pants and the counter. 

On top of the messy emotions of grief and the usual stress of daily life that I try so hard to get through with a big old smile upon my brow, I was seriously ready to leave my church and check out; meaning I was just going to unfriend every friend I ever knew and just do my own thing alone, write my book and take my classes and just focus whatever I need to do to get my kid through graduation and me through the rest of next year.(No joke) I felt like everything I had trusted in was a lie. This, I might add is a very direct lie from the devil. Again, he will get in your head and try to twist things around, especially when God is about to use you for something good (and possibly great) for His glory you leave the very anchor of people that God gives you to help support and make that happen. 

My trust had become shattered by someone after a conversation I had with  this person, and I was like "Oh my gosh, it's happening again! This person is thinking I will be nice to Barb and then I'm going to take advantage of her."  In my head that is what i got out of the conversation. In my head, I got this uncomfortable feeling that I didn't like at all as we talked this person and I.  I didn't feel any better after speaking with this person either, I felt worse to be honest.

I still have trust issues with this person.

This ONE person, out of the huge circle of people in my world, ONE person. The enemy used this ONE PERSON to put doubt, fear and anxiety in my head.

But God needs me to do his work, so after texting  three friends and two texting back later and one texting me back immediately asking me "Are you okay?" to which I replied "NO!"  She quickly called me back. So she helped me find the voice of reason, and assured me to just do what God tells me to do end of story.

So that is what I am doing.

I didn't blather to everyone about this ONE person, just this one friend and another friend of mine.

I'm okay now.

Good riddance 2022.

You've made my life a hot mess.

However, you have also made me see how Great my God is and how He provided for me the blessings of love, support and friendships of a wonderful sisterhood and people in my life who I  do and do not work with whom He used to show me that I am not alone in this season.

Thank you God for your grace and mercy and for forgiving me when I swear like a truck driver in anger and despair or when I just act a fool when I need to focus on you instead in the moment.

I know you will get me through next year.

I don't know what hills and valleys await me there, but I am not going to worry about that because James tells us in Chapter 1 verses 2-3 that we are to count it all joy when we fall into various trials and tribulations because the testing of our faith produces patience.

I definitely could use more patience.

Especially when I leave my drink in a shopping cart.

Lord help me in 2023, I'm pretty sure I'm gonna need it.

John 16:33 "These things I have spoken to you, that in me  you may have peace. In the world you may have tribulation: but be of good cheer I have overcome the world." 

 

God is With You

 

May 29, 2001

I sat on the floor of the furnished hotel room, as I clenched the bottle of pills in my hand.  I had no purpose anymore. In my mind, I was worthless; I was a significant failure to my parents and a major disappointment to my children due to life choices I had made at the time.

I had nothing to lose at this point.

I had let them all down.

I was lost and felt so alone.

I opened the lid and shook the bottle of pills into my hand and tossed them in my mouth. They slid down my throat like tiny little candies. 

I just wanted to die.

I threw the bottle of whatever pills were left, outside the open front door, as more pills spilled onto the concrete. I watched the pill bottle slowly roll into a crack in the sidewalk.

I sat still on the floor, leaning against the front of the couch, my head held down as I sobbed profusely.

I was hoping it would happen quickly. I began to feel sleep comforting me, as my eyelids became heavier. "Soon it will be over," I thought, as my eyelids gently closed.

It was at that very moment that God sent someone to save me.

That someone was in the form of an acquaintance of mine who had seen the pill bottle fly out my front door.  She had run quickly to grab my friend Tawanda to come to my rescue. Tawanda yelled at me telling me that I was worth more than this. She told me that my children needed me. She peeled all my clothes off of me, and with all her might and with all her love she shoved me into the shower.

I said words to her in that moment that would make my grandmother blush.  I was angry. I wanted this life to be over. 

She was ruining my plan!

That's right! MY PLAN!

I wasn't even thinking about God's plan for my life, because at that point in my life I had been mad at God and wanted NOTHING to do with Him. Tawanda held me in the shower, and with a stern, loving look in her eyes, she said to me, "If I can help it, you are NOT going to die tonight Barb!"

Though I did not have a relationship with the Lord at the time, He knew that moment would be my God Story one day, and a story that would save another life that was just as precious as mine.

I can tell you that HE is there with you in your darkest hours. When you are feeling so alone and so afraid and so discouraged and disgusted with yourself for whatever reason, God is there with you and he will never leave you nor forsake you(Deuteronomy 31:6).  Despite the fact that I said mean and awful things about God, He held onto my neck like a Mother cat with her unruly kitten. He knew that world out there was dangerous and He knew what evil lurked at every corner.

He wouldn't leave me.

He pursued me and left the 99 for me(Luke 15:3-7).

Can you believe that?!

He'll leave the 99 for you too!

A few months after that horrible night, I was sitting on the curb waiting on my bus. I was crying hysterically.  Some random woman walked over and sat right next to me. "Hello, I saw you crying and God asked me to come over to you and pray if that's okay."

"Whatever," I replied as I shrugged my shoulders. She put her arm around me and began to pray for me.

God had sent me another angel.

As I look at my past, all the feelings of loneliness and worthlessness and my need to be loved, validated and protected were because I relied on PEOPLE to make me feel secure and loved. I know realize that through it all, the One who never left me and the One who is my eternal security is God; "I have made you and I will carry you. I will sustain you and I will rescue you," -Isaiah 46:4 NKJV

Thinking back to that awful night and the nights and years that followed, I realize that God never left me. He hasn't left you either. He let me wobble around on my spiritual training wheels, crashing to the ground here and there, but He held onto me and never stopped loving me either.

You are going to have moments that you regret, we ALL do.  

You are going to have moments where the devil whispers lies in your ear either through thoughts in your head or the negative words of others thrown in your direction, especially those you love most and are closest to you on most occasions, that are meant to destroy you. 

"You are worthless, what will people think of you now that you did that?"

"You are an idiot!"  

"You are the worst Mother, friend, daughter!"

The list goes on....

He will use these thoughts to hurt you or to make you feel that your worth is the sum of all your mistakes in life...it's not! 

You are worth more than rubies!

"She is more precious than rubies; nothing you desire can compare with her,"

-Proverbs 31:5

The worst lie the devil will tell you is, "Nobody loves you!"

The devil will take the mistakes you have made in your life and turn them into a whole mountain of lies in your head. 

Don't listen to him!

Listen to the one who made you! You know He made you in HIS image sister!  Look in that mirror? 

What do you see?

You know what I see??

That my dear sweet sister is God's most beautiful creation...

YES! IT'S YOU!

He formed you and He has a purpose for your life.

You are loved so much by our Heavenly Father!

Isn't that awesome?!

Call on Him!

Worship Him!

Read His Word!

If you are feeling alone, whether you are a believer in Jesus or not, know that there are pastors, therapists, and church family who will envelop you with love, prayers and support without judgment, no matter the life choices you have made. There is an almighty God who is there for you and can do what no man can do...give you His eternal love and protection. 

God loves you. He has you in His hands. Turn around and fall into His arms.

He'll catch you and never let you go.

************************************

If you or a family member suffers from depression or you or a family member may have had thoughts of self-harm or suicide there are people out there who can help. 

If you know of a family member or a friend who has gone "radio silent" and you haven't heard from them in a while, send them a text, bring them lunch or offer to take them out for coffee. 

The holidays can often set off triggers of loneliness or feelings of despair for those who live alone, have just lost a loved one, are veterans, had a break up, lost a job or are in an abusive relationship. 

Some individuals may have addictions or mental illnesses that may enhance emotions of depression or anxiety. If you think a loved one may be thinking suicidal/self-harm thoughts you can contact local authorities to do a wellness check on them if you still don't hear from them after a few texts or phone calls.

Below is a small list of numbers for those who need to seek help or need resources to help you or a loved one.

God bless!

*988 Suicide Hotline

*211 Mental Health Resources

*(800)-799-7233 Domestic Violence Support