Breakfast With Jesus

I mentioned to a very dear friend of mine recently how I have changed my devotional time to evenings because my mornings are just too rushed for me. I feel I'm at the drive-thru with Jesus instead of a sit-down full course meal absorbing every verse of every chapter of His Word.

I can't wait for the weather to get a wee-bit more warmer and the days to get longer so I can sit out on my patio with my coffee, Bible, birds and the fresh air. It's happening, just not at the rapid pace I'd like it to happen. 

I am finding I get more time with the Lord in the evenings these days. Because when I can't really soak in His word I find my life to be more crazier than normal. 

Let me explain.

Picture if you will two scenarios.

Scenario One:

Here is Jesus at the drive-thru taking your order, and there is random harsh static and you want to ask him to help you through a problem at work, and you are worried about your mortgage and you also want to ask him for healing of a loved one. 

Still more static.

Jesus is still trying to ask you, "What do you need? How can I help you?" But you are too busy calming little Joey in his car seat because his diaper is wet and you have to get him to daycare to get to work in 20 minutes, you are thinking about dinner and how you are going to get to Ross to get an outfit for the company Christmas party and your 12 year old needs braces and the list of prayer requests are getting longer and longer by the minute. 

Oh, Netflix just premiered that new episode of Sweet Magnolias finally. Can't miss that!

Your long lost friend from 3rd grade is calling...."Hello???"

Jesus is (PATIENTLY, I might add here) waiting for your reply, with a loving smile as He understands your frustration and knows how sometimes life can throw you some nasty curve balls, (because after all dear sister, one time He himself was human too) and He continues waiting for your response. Your phone begins to ring and it's work.  They need that report at 10:00 a.m. instead of noon. 

Jesus is still waiting.

Waiting for you to look to Him. 

Waiting for you to put that phone down. Waiting for you to stop worrying about things out of your control.

Still waiting.

You ask Him for the total of your bill He tells you it's all been paid for.

With a puzzled look upon your face, you drive forward as you apply your lipstick and fix your hair in the rear view mirror. 

You leave the drive-thru without your order.

Your day has turned into a hot, stinkin' mess.

You seem to be more frazzled than normal these days. Everything is just getting under your skin.

You complain a lot too. 

The woman you work with is too loud. 

Your boss is annoying and mean. Why do the neighborhood kids have to be so loud, it's 4 p.m. in the middle of summer. 

Your patience has basically gone out the window.

You aren't very kind to the woman in the car in front of you as you wave a finger around like a magician's wand at her when the light turns green, although it isn't your pointer finger you are waving around. 

Nothing is going right.

(or is it and you just don't see it?)

"God must be mad at me or something. Why is this happening to me?", you scoff as you head into work dropping your coffee on the ground as you attempt to open the door.

Here is Scenario Two:

You pull up at Denny's, turn off the engine, get out of your car and get little Joey out of his car seat. As you are walking up to the Denny's  you see Jesus at the door and He waves at you. He opens the door for you and Joey, and you smile and thank Him for doing so. He asks where you would like to sit and you say "How about a window seat so we can enjoy the view?" 

You place Joey in the high chair and hand him some crayons and some paper you found crumpled in your purse. Jesus is smiling and as you sit down across from one another, He sees that you are worried and asks, "What is going on today, you look as though you have a lot on your mind. How can I help you get through this?"

Well, I have an electric bill due on the fifth of the month and Joey needs to have his shots and I lost my insurance when I started this new job, because the old job was too far and gas is so expensive and I have to find a new sitter by the end of the month because my sitter now is moving to Antarctica, or somewhere like that, and I can't follow her to Antarctica and I have this hole in my sock and my toe is poking through it and it's driving me crazy but I couldn't change my sock because I had to get Joey and I breakfast here this morning because I haven't had a chance to go grocery shopping,  and we only have 30 minutes to eat, and I was going to go through the drive-thru but you called me and said you had something important you wanted to share with me over breakfast, so I rushed over as fast as I could. 

Whew...that's a lot to say without taking a breath, but Jesus heard it all.

Every.Last.Word.

He didn't look at His watch, or fidget in His seat.

His eyes, heart and mind were focused on two things; You and Joey.

As you are rambling about the bills, the job, the sitter and the long drives to and from work every morning, He picks up Joey's crayon that rolled on the floor and wiped his juice off the table when he spilled it (as most toddlers do) as His eyes were STILL focused on you and YOUR heart and what's on your mind. 

Because He is Jesus.

But He is not drive-thru Jesus, He is "sit down and relax and enjoy this moment with me Jesus" right now. Absorb every morsel of the Word and listen as God speaks to you in the calm of His presence.

Jesus tells you to read Philippians 4:13 and verses 6-8. You open your Bible and you feel a sense of calm rushing over you. 

Jesus reaches across the table and holds your hand, "My grace is sufficient for you and My strength is made perfect in your weakness".  He tells you that these trials you are facing are for God's glory and that all things work together for good for those who love God and are called for HIS purpose.

"Don't worry," He says, "I've got this. I've got you. Rest in the Word and know that no matter what happens I am with you always."

You breathe a deep sigh of relief.

Joey finishes pancakes. His face and shirt are covered in syrup.

Instead of freaking out, you laugh, hysterically because he is two and that is what two year-olds do and that is what makes them absolutely adorable and why you love Joey so very much.

You calmly wipe down his face and change his outfit before heading to the sitter's house. 

You thank Jesus for spending time with you and He tells you He was so happy to hear from you and to be able to spend time with you(and Joey).

You call the sitter to let her know that you will be a few minutes late getting Joey to her house. She says her husband's company won't be moving to Antarctica (or wherever it was, you can't remember) for six more weeks so that gives you more time to find a sitter. 

You have no clue who will watch them, but you aren't worried about it anymore either.

You call the orthodontist on your lunch and they say they can make payment arrangements for the braces and they can give you a discount as well for paying cash.

You head to the dollar tree for a pair of socks after you hang up with the orthodontist's office and then you call your doctor's office to see if there is somewhere you can get Joey's immunizations at a cheaper price. 

They give you the number to the local health department...free.

Yay!

The problems didn't disappear, your daughter still needs braces and you still need to find a sitter and pay the electric bill, but because you spent time with the Lord you KNOW without a doubt ONE HUNDRED PERCENT GOD WILL SEE YOU THROUGH THIS.

He doesn't make the rainy days or the worst storms in our lives disappear, but He does help to make them a little more bearable,  even when it doesn't seem like it at the time.

HE IS OUR STRENGTH and VERY PRESENT HELP IN TIME OF TROUBLE -Psalm 46:1

Lean on Him.

Spend time with Him, just YOU and JESUS.

But don't just do the drive-thru.

Sit down with Jesus and enjoy His company. 

His comfort.

His strength.

And most importantly, His Joy.

Because the joy of the Lord IS our strength. 

The Memoirs of a Poor Girl Rich in Faith

I am going to open my blog with a little disclaimer. I probably should have said this in my very first post.  Unfortunately, my life is NOT a Disney Princess Movie with "happily ever afters" in it. My life is real, like so many others in this world and this blog is real and therefore sometimes, I may blog about some not so fortunate happenings from time to time and I do my utmost best to include humor in my not so fortunate encounters. 

If you truly understand where I am coming from, please grab a hot coffee, a cup of tea and continue reading about my January adventures. I just want others to know how to make it through the unknown. It isn't always easy. And if you are like me, you know how easy it is to lose your faith in the snap of a finger during not so wonderful life happenings. 

Hang on sister. It will get better. I say that STILL in the middle of my storm. 

With Love and Prayers for you in your spiritual battles,

-Barb❤

Here we go:

The title says it all folks.

Some day I am going to write a book called, "The Memoirs of a Poor Girl Rich in Faith".  It's going to be about how, despite the not so great odds being thrown at me from all directions for most of my life, God seems to pull me through it all.  

Especially every January, it's the same story; and every December God got me through the year somehow.

I have two weeks of unpaid time off between Christmas and the new year. And every year, no matter how hard I try to save, during the course of the year my  car costs me hundreds of dollars to fix it, or I have to buy tires or there is some unexpected medical expense and I'm forced to resort to pay day installment loans to ease my financial burdens.  This year it's killing me. This past year, unfortunately, was different. Instead of my standard two weeks, I had a total of five weeks off, in the last 3 months of the year. 

FIVE!

I just don't get it. 

I buy Ramen.

I use digital and paper coupons, I can't even save in a 401K at work. I can't even afford the 401 let alone the K. 

I buy generic.

I don't go out to eat at lunch. I use to back in the day, when I was first employed at my current job.  That went away just as fast as it came. Eating out is pricey. 

I don't drink, smoke or do drugs. I don't party like it's 1999, I basically live paycheck to paycheck. Which has always worked for me, I was never a materialistic, needs to have the latest name brand what-see-who's-it thing-a-ma-bob. I don't care about what the Jones' family owns, nor do I want to keep up with them.

I was suppose to babysit this weekend. Then I got sick, then I called to let them know and obviously they canceled and said "it's okay, we'll try again another time. Feel better Barb."

You know what's even more exciting??! I am NOT, hear me out now, I AM NOT, the only one going through something like this. 

Isn't that insane?

And what is a reality changer for me in all this misery I try so hard not to succumb to, is that there are PEOPLE OUT THERE, IN WORSE PREDICAMENTS THAN ME.

That's right.

Worse than me. So I really, really need to count...my...blessings.

Which to be honest, is hard to do. 

It's easy to count my blessings when things are all hunky dory. When the bills are paid, the kids are listening, the house is clean and the car is running. It's easy to count my blessings when God blesses me, but when the reality of unforeseen burdens come along, whew, my head in particular can get to be a hot mess. And thanking God for the fact that I STILL have a roof over my head and I ate breakfast this morning, I won't lie, it is a little extreme to do for me some days.  I want to be a child of God whose faith is unfailing. Yet somehow doubt creeps in and then I'm mad at myself for not trusting God in that moment that made me act like the human I am. 

That's right, I'm human(translation..."NOT God, NOT like God, not Perfect like God, Prone to doubting and lacking faith on occasion; Okay not to be like God, just needs to remind self that it's okay NOT to be perfect like God and have human emotions occasionally that I don't beat myself up over").

Yesterday was NOT a good day at all for me.

First of all, I had to go and get this card that cost me $95 so I can get my fingerprints done at the police station to keep my job. Then, as I was driving home, I pull into my parking spot, and the goofy picture of the oil can and the word CHANGE in LED lettering comes popping up where my miles use to be on the dash.

Think I am joking? 

Here it is:

 

It's not even due for another 2,200 miles.

Just...great!

I am finishing a conversation with my mom, so I don't want to freak out on the phone, so I don't need to be ranting to her about my woes.  After we hang up, I literally freak out about how I am going to pay for my oil change. I have $94 dollars left to borrow at the installment loan place and I was almost done paying the original loan off. I only have TWO payments left. Now I am adding another $27 to my almost $100/month payment. 

And if THAT wasn't enough, I get to the place and she tells me they erased my bank information she cannot access my account.

Now I am thinking, "What am I going to do? I have to change my oil. My car will overheat. That will be more money I don't have right now to spend to fix it". (Do you see what's happening here? Notice where my thoughts are going.) 

Finally got the bank stuff fixed and I get my $94.

Now I'm on my way home.

I'm balling. 

Bills on the brain and no money to pay them. January is the worst. I hate January. I lost two friends and a bird in the month of January. It's cold and depressing in January. I lose my mind too in the month of January. There is nothing good about the month of January and if it wasn't for Sundays, Wednesdays and Saturday mornings I think I'd have lost my marbles by now. 

At this point my marbles are scattered all over the floor of my head, but by the Grace of God almighty placing the people in my life He has placed, my marbles are just rolling around there but not lost(alright a few may have rolled away in anger and frustration but for the most part my marbles are all there... I think😩).

I won't lie. I hate money. And I hate being poor even more. I am a paycheck to paycheck kinda gal, I always have been and I always will be. It's just my lot in life I suppose. Every year I hope to change that status, but every year is the same. 

Every year I think, "Maybe this will be the year that I will change that, God willing". I am so mad because stinkin' satan is trying to mess with my faith here, and I am trying so hard not to let him. 

I wish we could barter like back in the day of the Quakers. You know, I make you a nice pie, and you fix my car. Okay, maybe two pies and a loaf of bread, or pumpkin cookies to fix my car. 

As I near the Jiffy Lube near my home, I look at the dash board.

Guess what?

That stupid icon was gone and my mileage was back (the icon  actually came back when I went to pick up my daughter at her dad's and take her to work. Imagine that).

I started yelling at my car. 

Then I yelled at the guy in the big white Dodge Ram truck who cut me off in traffic because he didn't know how to drive that big white truck. 

Then I cried some more.

Ever had one of these days? Ever have one of these months? OR years?

Random thoughts started going through my brain by the time I got home.

"I'm going radio silent", I thought. "I am going to disconnect from everyone. I am going to stop going to church and watch online, nobody needs to hear my stupid drama. Nobody cares."

And then I remembered....

A friend of mine reached out to me in a radio silent moment exactly one year ago(yep, in January). Her name is Carrie. And Carrie told me that is satan trying to steal my joy. He gets to us when we are alone and facing obstacles. Like the dirty little smarmy worm he is, he wheedles his way into our brains and lives there and slowly tears us down so that now we are stuck in misery and loneliness and sadness and depression everything the Bible says that is NOT from God. Eventually we blame God for all our misfortunes and eventually stop believing in Him. That's what the enemy wants, for us to turn from God and follow him instead.

NOT TODAY SATAN! NOT EVER!

God is joy, and peace, and love, and security and serenity even in the tumultuous times of our lives. 

But for a brief moment, in anger I might add,  I asked God,"Why is this happening to me? Why are all those people do things that aren't Biblical and who aren't saved why do they get the nice cars that never break down and the fancy clothes and the happy families and the kids who love their parents and never hate them, why do they get all that? I am not mean to people. I don't call them names, or intentionally try to be rude to them. I even love the people who hate me and try to make amends and still NOTHING. I am NOT asking to be RICH. I am NOT asking to be FAMOUS I am simply asking to MAKE ENDS MEET LORD!  Why am I suffering here? Why is this happening to ME?!"

Then Job popped into my head.

Poor little old Job. 

He didn't harm anyone. He didn't ask to lose his livestock, his children and his friends. He didn't ask for sores and boils. 

God took away what mattered most from Job to prove to those around him that God is more powerful than any disaster Job endured. That despite Job's circumstances he NEVER LOST HIS FAITH IN GOD. And because of that faith, God blessed Job in the end of his life beyond measure. 

God healed and blessed Job.

Now, I'm not Job. God may not bless me in the end. He may bless my children, or their children. I may have to ride out this storm or others like it until my last breath. Or God may bless me next month, or next year. I may finally publish that book I so wanted to publish. I may find a financial opportunity that will allow me to save more... or maybe not.

Not everyone in the Bible had a "happily ever after" story. They served God's purpose, not their own agenda, then God took them home. 

Not everyone's life is that of a Disney princess or a well-known Real Life Bible Character in a book which has a happy ending like Ruth or Esther or David or Noah despite their obstacles.

Doesn't mean we still can't enjoy it. 

I'm still trying to find my happy. I'm still trying to find God in this mess. He's there but I don't see Him and I definitely don't feel Him. 

That's what scares me.

And fear, my friend, is NOT of God.

So I am going to cling to His word like never before. 

And HOPE that God answers my prayers. 

And have FAITH that all will work out according to God's will in my life because he promises in Romans 8:28 that "All things work together for HIS good for those who love Him and are called to His purpose".

Sister, keep moving forward.

Keep holding onto the the hem of Jesus's robe. 

It's not always easy to do, but we have to keep our eyes on Jesus and not on the stormy waters that surround us.

It's gonna be okay.

It's going to be O.K.

Do not forsake me Oh Lord, Oh my God, be not far from me. Psalm 38:21

 

Faith and Your Future; Both Are In God's Hands

Howdy Ya'll! Happy New year!

For some people it's just another year, no big deal. 

For others, it's a chance to start over and to make things new again; marriages/relationships with friends, healthier eating habits, new career paths or start or return to school for a degree or certificate, basically setting new goals or dreams for the coming year.

I have done that. I have a goal for this year. I won't say right now what that goal is. Rest assured you can know that I want to do something that glorifies God and blesses others.

More to come on that at a later date.

I have faith that God will see me through this year, lows and highs. I just read the second chapter in this book I am reading, and it talks about reaching goals you may think are unreachable goals, but with God those goals are not so impossible.

I find it interesting(God's timing perhaps??🤔) that I started this book so that the chapter I finished just in time for the new year, is all about setting goals and not giving up. 

I won't lie, in my past, and even sometimes in the present but not as often, I tend to be flaky. I say I will do something in March, and I start out extremely excited to begin my journey and before ya know it it's May and I have given up on my quest.

I am a former smoker. 

I will just say this, quitting smoking IS NOT easy. It has been 5 years since I quit. Prior to that, I had tried quitting about 12 times. So when I finally quit, it was definitely not by MY willpower, but the strength of God that got me through it. If you need advice on how to quit, let me know. No judgment here from me, because  I did backslide a bit back in October of last year, for reasons that I still don't know why, but I laughed about it because in all honesty it was for about 10 days and I told my mom when I returned home this is the "non-smoking side of the mountain". 

True story.

I haven't craved a cigarette since I got back home. I have no desire to smoke. I haven't since I lived here in this apartment God so kindly blessed my daughter and I with. Sometimes Satan likes to throw little wrenches into our plans to do good, and then we beat ourselves up about it.  When I got back to my apartment and started unpacking I did feel stupid for smoking when I went back home with my family.   I don't know why I smoked, but I did. I thought if I didn't buy them, I wouldn't smoke them or smoke that many. That plan backfired for sure. 

I had all these crazy thoughts in my head as I was getting ready for bed that first night back here. "If my friends find out they won't like me anymore"(that one was stupid for sure), "What the heck was I thinking? I didn't smoke any of the other times I went back? Why did I do it now?! What's wrong with me?!" I did tell one friend while I was out there. She wasn't judgmental at all. Just said not to do it anymore, because it's not healthy.

I had a very hard time getting back into my Bible study routine and once I did the negative thoughts didn't come so often. I thank God He didn't let me go through all of that alone, and the thoughts eventually subsided by the time I returned to work.

We are not perfect creatures by any means, and yet God will still use us for his perfect mission in our lives to give Him all the glory.

Just look at all the stories in the Bible. Supposedly "Impossible" stories I might add:

• David the youngest of all his brothers fighting a giant named Goliath
• Moses, parting the red sea by the power of God with only a simple command and a staff
• Joshua, the walls came tumbling down with the sound of trumpets
• Gideon, overcame an army of 120,000 Midianites with only 300 men

Each one of these people, had FAITH that God would get them where He needed them to go. Despite obstacles, despite poor life choices, despite what seemed like challenging circumstances, these men in the Bible beat the odds and what may seem like so far-fetched or impossible, was not so impossible WITH GOD. 

I read this verse this morning, and I really took it to heart for this coming year:

"Do not remember the former things, nor consider the things of old.  Behold I will do a new thing, now it shall spring forth; shall you not know it? I will even make a road in the wilderness and rivers in the desert." - Isaiah 43:18-19

Earlier in this same chapter, God tells Jacob that He will be with him and the rivers will NOT overflow him nor will the fires burn him (verse 2). 

What are the two most IMPORTANT THINGS God tells Jacob in Verse 1?

FEAR NOT!

YOU ARE MINE.

This not only applies to Jacob but to each of us as well. 

Do NOT fear and know that we belong to God. 

We are His children. He will not leave us nor forsake us. EVER.

I have to keep reminding myself of this fact. When I have those ridiculous thoughts of "What if my car dies in the heat again this summer?" "What if I don't have enough money for my car payment in 3 months?" 

What ifs are not living in faith.

God will use our trials and tribulations, to strengthen our faith. He will use THAT faith to show others how He works through us and how trusting in God and following God is the only way to be truly content and happy in life, regardless of our current circumstances. 

No amount of money, fame or fortune will give us that. 

Only God can do that.

So first of all, PRAY.

Ask for God's guidance in your new adventure or life decision.

Then, dust off that manuscript,  go online and submit that admissions application as you are never too old to go back and hit the books again, apply for that small business loan and get that bakery or book store open. 

God will open doors for you, if you just have a little faith.

The faith of a mustard seed is all you need.

"...for assuredly I say to you if you have faith as a mustard seed you will say to this mountain 'move from here to there' and it will move and nothing will be impossible for you." Matthew 17:20