The Strength of our Seasons

 

I just packed away my tree and all my decorations. I am in the midst of cleaning my apartment. I have to say, I am quite impressed with myself here. I got up at 4:30. I played a few rounds of Words with Friends with my momma. Of course I beat her. I was the regional spelling bee champ of my hometown in 6th grade. 

Words are my friends.

I blog for cryin' out loud, of course words are going to be my friends. 😏

However, the words this morning that were spewing out of my mouth were not.so.friendly. 🤭

This was a rough morning. I said a swear this morning. Rarely, if ever, do I swear. And like a wonderful person I know and love, if you hear a word come from my mouth that isn't appropriate I have probably reached the depths of my emotional capacity of patience for the day. 

And my day had just begun.

Keeping it real here. I am being transparent, because we all know being a Christian does not make one "holier than thou" and I am definitely far from being holier than all of you out there who grace my blog(and I thank you) 

So as the queen mother of words escaped my mouth when the vacuum sucked up those stupid clear ties they put on toys, (which by the way, I have no idea where it came from because none of us had any toys here with clear ties on them) and it made that annoying buzzing sound that makes you think you just sucked up a swarm of bees, I shut off and slammed the vacuum on the floor in an attempt to dislodge said clear tie, and I am happy to report after several good slams it came out. 

I plugged the vacuum back in and continued with my vacuuming, listening to my country music on the t.v. trying to keep my wits about me when the stupid buzzing bees came back...this time a twisted paperclip was the culprit. 

Nothing was going right, except my win against my mom this morning, everything else was downhill after that. 

I stepped on an ornament and heard the crunch under my bare foot. I also stepped on the little "hat" that goes atop the ornament to place the ornament hanger, not fun...at all.

I pulled something in my back carrying the boxes to the storage on my patio. 

Then I had a TB Test read I had to do at the drugstore on the corner, so I had to stop what I was doing to go do that.

Still hadn't showered mind you. 

*sigh*

Apologized to the woman doing my TB read(negative by the way, if you were wondering) telling her "I apologize if I should stink because I just took down my tree, and had been sweating profusely trying to get it in the box and into storage along with the five other awkwardly huge boxes of decos and stuff". 

She just giggled at me and said, "You took down your tree? I didn't put one up this year." 

I wonder if I should have done that instead?...nah.

I just went into the kitchen right now for a bottled water and came back with a mini milk chocolate snowman, two Lindor  wrapped candies and a Godiva chocolate. 

I realized I forgot the water when I ate the second piece of candy. 🙄 

*walks back to kitchen for water, walks back to desk while thinking "maybe an ice cold glass of milk would go better with the chocolates??"...yep, walked BACK to the fridge for a glass of milk.

You are probably wondering why I chose the ornament photo for my blog today.

This day of mine is why.

The ornament shouldn't say Jesus is the Reason for the Season, although he definitely IS the ONE TRUE REASON FOR CHRISTMAS...That being said, let me just say that there should be an ornament AND a bumper sticker that says "Jesus is the Reason We Make It Through Our Seasons". 

Did you read that?

When we are happy, even in the midst of chaos. Scripture tells us "Do not sorrow for The Joy of the Lord is Our Strength!" -Nehemiah 8:10

When we are sad, He is there in that season, pushing us through by His strength and not that of our own doing, holding our hands, hearts and minds. When we are going for a health test and we are scared, or we are getting married or having a baby, or our first child is leaving the nest(or the last one is leaving) HE is there. 

Whatever season it is, Jesus is the reason we made it through that season.

This morning,  a short season that felt like an eternity to me in the moment has passed, and my blood pressure and my vocabulary are much better now.

As I took the tree down and realized tomorrow is a new year, I cried. This year, the year of my worst day, is ending. I have to let go, give my grief and my worst day to God.

I looked at "Daddy's Lantern" and cried some hard tears. 

Then I let him go. 

I'm sure there will be days of firsts yet to come since my worst day happened, First Wedding anniversary He is in Heaven and not with mom, First Father's Day he's in Heaven, first Birthday of his in Heaven and I WILL cry. But letting him go, let's me know that whatever feelings I feel on those first days, won't be so bad. 

He's with Jesus and so am I, or rather Jesus is with me.

He's got me.

I probably won't write about my daddy for a little while. Doesn't mean I have forgotten him, I will have his memories and photos and lantern out all year long. Letting go means letting go. 

Doesn't mean forgetting, it means trusting God to help you through the emotional storm when you DO remember and feelings slam you out of nowhere.

My advice, what I have learned through all of this, is no matter what season you are facing, know that it's temporary, it's okay to be angry, sad, hurt, happy or exceedingly joyful, whatever it is, give thanks to Jesus for getting you to it or getting you through it.

Daddy's Lantern