Thank You For the Blessings Lord

This photo is a picture of the tiny envelope that holds the key to my morning happiness in a cup....coffee.

This is a gift card from one of my favorite places to go for coffee. This isn't an advertisement for them, but it sure is beginning to look like one, huh?

Dutch Bros is my go to spot when I am having a good day, bad day or any day in between. When my daughter and I want to just be spontaneous and grab a quick drink or I am alone and having a moment...this is literally right down the street from me. 

Today my daughter and I took Buddy the Elf(her gift to me for Christmas because she knows how I love anything Christmas, especially Buddy!) for a little drive in my car for coffee and a trip to Target. We were both so excited to head out for a little while, as we did NOTHING yesterday except laid around all day snacking and watching movies. I did manage to do one load of laundry. 

Yay me!

So when we went to Dutch Bros today the nice young man had a lengthy conversation with us. They are just so friendly there. Turned out my daughter knew the young man from a mutual acquaintance of theirs and after a lot of small banter between the three of us we parted ways with our drinks and a friendly wave from the young gentleman who waited on us.

We head into Target as I took a few sips of my drink that was pretty much still full. It's called a "Stoplight", mighty tasty I might add, and I placed it back in seat portion of the cart.  I managed to pick up three 20-gallon storage bins for 9 bucks a piece for two of them and 8 bucks for the last one. I was so excited I was blessed with a good amount of gift cards to cover everything I needed; expo markers, last minute gifts that i had to ship, storage bins, pizza for dinner and some spinach avocado dip. My daughter picked up some gifts for friends of hers as well and some other personal items. 

We get in line and I begin scratching off that lovely grey strip with the tiny little access code that the Who's in Whoville probably couldn't read if they wanted to. I hand the five gift cards I had in my hand to the cashier and she carefully enters each, one at a time. She wishes us a good day, hands us our receipts and off we go!

As we are finished loading the items we purchased into my car, my daughter opens her door and I said, "You want to take the cart back to the cart return?"(we were parked next to it😄), she said, "No, I think you can handle that!"  

Well apparently I couldn't handle it.

We went to Panda Express and then headed home. As we are removing bags and storage bins from the car I went to grab my drink from my cup holder in the car. 

????

?????

Yep, you guessed it. 

I couldn't handle taking the cart back apparently, because I forgot to grab my drink out of it.

😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 <<<-----That was me and a few choice words when I was walking to my apartment after I realized what I had done(or hadn't done, however you look at this scenario🤔). 

I heard my daughter say in the most cheerful voice, "Hey mom at least it's raining!" She knows how much I love the rain.

But I was so absorbed in the fact that I left my drink in the cart, I didn't even enjoy that moment.

The drink was free. And her drink was free, so why I was so absorbed in the negative instead of enjoying the blessing of H20 falling from the sky and my daughter noticing it, is beyond me.

I am trying so hard to stay positive these days. 

A lot has transpired this year, and I will be happy to see 2022 go out the window and bring in 2023. I will willingly kick 2022 to the side and welcome in 2023 with open arms. 

No kidding.

The past 14 months really have been intense.

The last 4 months, however, have literally consumed me; emotionally, physically and mentally. 

By God's grace and mercy, all the crying, all the sleepless nights, all the anger and sadness and grief and tiredness, God held me in His arms and gave me a swarm of beautiful people from all over to get me through this tiresome season in my life. 

I am blessed.

I am blessed beyond measure.

I am thankful.

So grateful.

I just received a gift card in the mail. 

I won't say from who or where, I will just say I was stunned to see it there. 

And all it said on the card was "A little something to pamper yourself Barb."

Wow!

I had just had a major meltdown in my kitchen two days prior to receiving the gift card.  I couldn't even open my spinach artichoke dip, and I slammed it on the counter so hard that it sprayed all over my pants and the counter. 

On top of the messy emotions of grief and the usual stress of daily life that I try so hard to get through with a big old smile upon my brow, I was seriously ready to leave my church and check out; meaning I was just going to unfriend every friend I ever knew and just do my own thing alone, write my book and take my classes and just focus whatever I need to do to get my kid through graduation and me through the rest of next year.(No joke) I felt like everything I had trusted in was a lie. This, I might add is a very direct lie from the devil. Again, he will get in your head and try to twist things around, especially when God is about to use you for something good (and possibly great) for His glory you leave the very anchor of people that God gives you to help support and make that happen. 

My trust had become shattered by someone after a conversation I had with  this person, and I was like "Oh my gosh, it's happening again! This person is thinking I will be nice to Barb and then I'm going to take advantage of her."  In my head that is what i got out of the conversation. In my head, I got this uncomfortable feeling that I didn't like at all as we talked this person and I.  I didn't feel any better after speaking with this person either, I felt worse to be honest.

I still have trust issues with this person.

This ONE person, out of the huge circle of people in my world, ONE person. The enemy used this ONE PERSON to put doubt, fear and anxiety in my head.

But God needs me to do his work, so after texting  three friends and two texting back later and one texting me back immediately asking me "Are you okay?" to which I replied "NO!"  She quickly called me back. So she helped me find the voice of reason, and assured me to just do what God tells me to do end of story.

So that is what I am doing.

I didn't blather to everyone about this ONE person, just this one friend and another friend of mine.

I'm okay now.

Good riddance 2022.

You've made my life a hot mess.

However, you have also made me see how Great my God is and how He provided for me the blessings of love, support and friendships of a wonderful sisterhood and people in my life who I  do and do not work with whom He used to show me that I am not alone in this season.

Thank you God for your grace and mercy and for forgiving me when I swear like a truck driver in anger and despair or when I just act a fool when I need to focus on you instead in the moment.

I know you will get me through next year.

I don't know what hills and valleys await me there, but I am not going to worry about that because James tells us in Chapter 1 verses 2-3 that we are to count it all joy when we fall into various trials and tribulations because the testing of our faith produces patience.

I definitely could use more patience.

Especially when I leave my drink in a shopping cart.

Lord help me in 2023, I'm pretty sure I'm gonna need it.

John 16:33 "These things I have spoken to you, that in me  you may have peace. In the world you may have tribulation: but be of good cheer I have overcome the world."